Monday, August 15, 2011

On My Own.

Living on my own rent free allowed me to party every night except a few because I actually did hold down a job, They were lenient on me and knew about my addiction but were really caring and helpful but I partied a lot and went to a lot of clubs and more bars and became obsessed with the glamour of it all and I went to some raves and really loved the nightlife. I had a lot of friends and got a lot of guys and a lot of drugs and free booze and I was making good money so I felt on top of the world at times but then when I would go back home alone I felt lonely and sad... I would Skype with friends out of state or drink myself to sleep but it was really depressing. I have a Breathalyzer in my car and the normal length of time is one year but since I continued to drive drunk with it I have an extra 4 years tacked on. I would have random people blow for me and be so intoxicated it was ridiculous. After a while I met some people who had Heroin connections and oxycontin. January of 2010 was when I first tried a needle... I loved it and did it a few more times with this one girl and was using heroin a lot I would either snort it or smoke it or shoot it depending on if it was black tar or china. My work performance and attendance was really dropping and finally one day I came to work and on break my friends came because they had my car and I had smoked 3 oxycontins 80's to myself and went back to work  (thinking I was normal lol) and I literally could not keep my eyes open and I tired so hard to keep awake and finally my assistance manager called me in and she said " We know you are high so you are done here." I was livid and also sad, the guy I was dating was waiting outside for me and I walked out and broke down and pulled out more pills to do... I really loved that job.. So weeks went by and I actually had a copy of the key so one night I needed money for dope and I went and robbed them at like 1 A.M. and stole the money from the register and booked ass out of there, so my friend was driving because I had to hope back in the car quick and his license was suspended... we get pulled over my my tags being expired.. and my car got towed.. I just continued to use and take pills and drug after drug and was even doing a little bit of lean on occasion. So weeks went by and one morning after being up for a couple days I had been doing a lot of heroin and literally did a few lines and there was a knock at the door... it was a few detectives and they said they had to take me down for questioning, I was nodding out really bad I couldn't function at all and long story short I was charged with Burglary class 3 Felony.  I got a lawyer and got it dropped down but I am on probation and thats been hectic because it obviously gets in the way of me using. Right after I got sentenced I moved back home and off to my home state we went...