Monday, August 15, 2011

Run Like Hell

I really don't remember much from September 2010-December except I blew through 5500 in like a week or something and was doing every drug...Drinking everyday and I wasn't just getting drunk I would get totally shit faced every night. So Since the spring I had a hard core alcohol addiction along with the drugs and luckily I was prescribed Valium because I would have really bad withdrawals. So August my dad made me turn myself in and it wasn't as bad as I thought and I got sentenced to 45 days house arrest but during the two weeks before I still drank like a fish and was shooting Heroin and Meth and one night after I had been up I had called my dad crying because I wanted drugs so bad and he picked me up and I was so suicidal I tried jumping out of the car and so he pulled over and an ambulance came and of course cops did too and they reported what happened because I had a BAC of .4 but that was nothing for me because my tolerance was so high. I ended up doing meth and drinking the night before I had to get my ankle bracelet on but when I went there they did not let me leave they booked me because of the violation of drinking when the cops showed up with the ambulance... So that was scary about 12 hours later I started having really bad DT's and was up till 5 A.M. finally dozed off for an hour waking up to noises and flashing lights in my room and screamo music...There were scary faces on my door window.. I thought the guards were outside my door watching me and laughing..  So finally after sitting there confused I sat up to find "guys" outside my window right by the road (I had a huge window overlooking a golf course and there was a non accessible road too..) They were throwing rocks at my window and had a pellet gun.. and there were midgets and a guy in a bear suit dancing around.. mooning me.. I was laughing so hard and I was so confused thinking WTF are these people doing.. I hallucinated for two days straight.. It was more funny than scary but considering I thought they were real I didn't see the nurse until the afternoon when I couldn't handle the shakes and then I was taken to the ER because it was so bad and my mouth was completely jacked up with canker soars all over and my tongue had been scrapped raw... It hurt so bad so not only did I have a painful mouth but my withdrawals were not pleasant. 

So after the worst part was over I continued taking 20 mg of Valium daily and then 30 mg of Adderall in jail.. I went to court after 45 days and was sentenced to a treatment center so I had an ankle bracelet for a week before and I drank on that and got away with that somehow but I went to treatment for 30 days and left after 30 days, my anxiety was so bad I couldn't take it and I had to medicate...